wesley, wesley, USA, USA
Wil Wheaton is a pretty awesome guy. He did a cameo in the PVP animated series I wrote with Scott -- actually now that I think about it, he read the scene I wrote, so I guess that makes me a screenwriter-slash-director. Also it puts me two KevinBacondegrees away from Patrick Stewart, so.
Wait, I meant Marina Sirtis. Yes, yes. I will spend my Bacon points there.
But we're here today to compare and contrast TNG wonder-kid Wesley Crusher and Indy 4 wonder-kid Mutt Williams. Check out this chart. It's going to prove invaluable for the rest of your life.
I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I think it was Wesley's friends who showed up at the end of Indy 4. The Traveler seemed like that kind of guy. Also he gave me the creeps. If my kid was being wooed (however platonically) by some three-fingered balding dude in a skin-tight terrycloth jumper, I'd probably tell my kid to take the shortcut home from school. The Traveler, dude. I think he served eight months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
Anyway, look. The point is, Wesley Crusher beats Mutt Williams hands down. Oh, I forgot, also he has a phaser and he once fed Picard water in a cave. So, I mean, that's two more on the greatness pile.
Wait, I meant Marina Sirtis. Yes, yes. I will spend my Bacon points there.
But we're here today to compare and contrast TNG wonder-kid Wesley Crusher and Indy 4 wonder-kid Mutt Williams. Check out this chart. It's going to prove invaluable for the rest of your life.
| Wesley Crusher | Mutt Williams |
| Good at science and math | Good at combs |
| Member of Nova Squadron | Puts Coca-Cola in his hair |
| His dad cock-blocked Picard | His dad bailed on him to have cool adventures |
| Moves interdimensionally thanks to the Traveler | Was scared of beings who traveled in the space between spaces |
I'm not one for conspiracy theories, but I think it was Wesley's friends who showed up at the end of Indy 4. The Traveler seemed like that kind of guy. Also he gave me the creeps. If my kid was being wooed (however platonically) by some three-fingered balding dude in a skin-tight terrycloth jumper, I'd probably tell my kid to take the shortcut home from school. The Traveler, dude. I think he served eight months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
Anyway, look. The point is, Wesley Crusher beats Mutt Williams hands down. Oh, I forgot, also he has a phaser and he once fed Picard water in a cave. So, I mean, that's two more on the greatness pile.
- kris
